It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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