The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
