i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
