woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize