that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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