I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
this will be a night to untag.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize