I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
