dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
