Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
