I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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