I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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