dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
