I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I had to cum in my sink.
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