I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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