I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
