it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I still have a little drunk in my system
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
