Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize