I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
