I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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