I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The adults are the big ones right?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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