I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
