i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize