Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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