Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
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