I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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