I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
