its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize