don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
