She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
