he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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