so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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