Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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