new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
