Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
