The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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