It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize