How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
