I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
