Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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