I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
