In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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