Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
