i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
