i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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