she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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