Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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