she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
