I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize