so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
