worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
