i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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