she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
