We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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