I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
