She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We left the knife in your bed.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
