Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Come see our sink grown plant.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
