My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
