You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
