you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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