Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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