You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
My feet surprised me
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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