He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
