i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
